Day 11: You are NOT Broken!

This is for all the people struggling. Physical, Mental, Emotional, whatever it may be.  Maybe you're struggling with your identity.  Maybe you are struggling because every move hurts.  Maybe you are struggling against depression or anxiety or manic disorders.  Maybe you are struggling with trauma from your childhood. Maybe, like me, you are a mix of these.

I want you to listen to me RIGHT NOW.

YOU. ARE. NOT. BROKEN. 

No matter how bleak things may look.  No matter how badly you may hurt.  You are not a waste. You are not unworthy.  And you are not hopeless. 

We all have envisioned throughout our lives what we would be like, do, see, accomplish.  How we would live.  The impacts we wanted to make.  Who we would marry, how many kids.... I mean c'mon how many of us played M.A.S.H. in school?!

Our entire lives are spent looking toward the future.  Planning, dreaming, and even assuming.

Now I'm not saying dreaming or planning is bad!  Dreams drive us! But what I AM saying is that we cannot let those dreams DEFINE us. Or rather, we cannot allow our inability to attain those dreams define us.

See we are adaptable by nature. Humans are being born without appendixes now a days even!  You can move a dozen times and still be able to set up a life.  We have seen people overcome HUGE physical changes (loosing an arm and still surfing for instance...or running a marathon on prosthetic legs...or riding a record making barrel run as a paraplegic!).  We love to celebrate those who overcome or adapt in big ways.  As we should!

But what about celebrating the smaller overcomings?  Like being able to accept that you'll never lift over 15lbs?  Or being able to embrace the fact that you can't have children? Or the fact that you have to give up the idea of being a prodigy at your sport?

These can be like tiny deaths.  And when it's your own body or mind that causes it.... we can become bitter.  Hard.  Angry.  Full of self-hatred.  Lost.

We forgive others far more than we ever forgive ourselves.  And the truth is..... there's nothing to truly forgive.  But for me, it helped to genuinely forgive my body for not being able to live up to my life expectations, and I appologized for trying to force it into a life it wasn't made for.

That is the hardest thing.  Letting go of what you think you SHOULD be, and accepting who you are and what's going on AS IS.  Now this doesn't mean you stop trying.  It doesn't mean that you don't still strive for health or see the therapist etc.  It does mean that you stop chasing visions and start embracing life RIGHT NOW.  AS IT IS.  You can love yourself and give grace while working on bettering yourself.

You may be bruised.
You may hurt.
Your heart may have a scar or two.
You may have suffered losses.
You may be a hot mess.

But you are NOT BROKEN!

You can heal.
You can forgive.
You can love. 
You can embrace joy.
You can forgive the mess.

It may hurt, but you can make it through all of that. 

Slowly.  

ONE step at a time. WITH GRACE!  Not with a deadline or another expectation you are putting on yourself, but with LOVE and a genuine desire to simply heal.

THERE IS NO SHAME IN YOUR CURRENT STATE!!!

DO NOT appologize for how you are right now.

DO NOT feel guilty!

DO NOT berate yourself for "letting it get so bad" or for "not accomplishing___"

YOU are worthy without having to earn it.  Did you hear me?
You don't have to earn the right to be loved, to exist, or to deserve anything.
That is an innate right, born into you by God before your birth.
YOU are fearfully (respectfully) and awfully (full of awe and wonder) made.
You have no idea how many people you have impacted or will impact throughout your life.