Day 14: The 5 most important people
Today I want to talk about the 5 people who you are a combination of.
Say what?
It's been shown that you are a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with/influence you.
Yup. And I can vouch for this personally! Now, if you are like me, you may immediately put up a wall and say "I can't abandon my friends! That would hurt them so badly!".
If this was your first thought, you REALLY need to examine your friendships and ask why you are so clung to them when you know something is off. How do I know something is off? Because if you knew those 5 people brought good to your life and your heart...you would never have even thought of abandoning them. I never said you had to cull your friends.
But if the above was your immediate thought, it might be time to consider culling your friends list down.
But before we get to even thinking about that, let's define what a friend REALLY is:
1.
a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
| synonyms: | companion, boon companion, bosom friend, best friend, close friend, intimate, confidante, confidant, familiar, soul mate, alter ego, second self, shadow, playmate, playfellow, classmate, schoolmate, workmate, ally, comrade, associate; etc. |
ok. so that's the textbook definition. But what I really want you to take from the dictionary description are these highlights:
Confidant-someone you trust.
Bosom friend-understands you and shares your life with you.
Intimate-you share deep information and are able to feel vulnerable.
Playmate-someone who makes you laugh and laughs with you. Comrade-they walk with you in the hard stuff.
Ally-they are on your side.
Workmate-they will call you out on your crap.
Notice that it doesn't say savior. Or helpmate. Or servant. Or chain. Or mean. Or hurtful...
You see what I'm getting at.
Now does this mean all your time together will look like these ladies and their hysterical cappucinos? Doubtful. But hey, if it is.... awesome!
REAL friends challenge you to grow, to be the best YOU you can be. They support your dreams. They aren't afraid to give you reality checks without cruelty. They WANT you to do amazing in your life. They are ok being a shoulder for you, just as you are for them. They keep your deep conversations private and show equal trust. They understand and ACCEPT you as you are. You may not have the same faith, but you are supportive of each others paths. They love you. For who you are. They want to grow too.
If your innermost circle is filled with people you are growing with and who bring you overall joy in your life (notice I didn't say do things for you all the time while you sit back and receive) then you are golden!
If your innermost circle is filled with people who are always in one drama or another, who only call to vent or for help, who don't seem to every have a positive conversation or outlook on life, or are unable to maintain friendships for long... watch out. These are not friends. These are people in need that you have taken on. You are not their friend, you are their rescuer/therapist/enabler. They may like you genuinely, sure! But stop helping them, or refuse to engage in the negative venting and you'll find most will simply drift away.
**This is NOT referring to a friend going through a rough season! This is people who habitually stay stagnant, have issue after issue, do not try to grow or be positive, ask advice and don't take it, always need help, and continually allow others to use them or to make bad choices.
When you surround yourself with people who genuinely walk life with you, continually up the side of the hills and down the valleys and of course celebrating at the peaks....your life explodes with goodness and opportunities to be yourself and achieve a world more in your life than you could imagine. Nothing replaces a couple of amazing supportive friends.
So look at who you are inviting on your life path. Be aware that they may change! And that's ok, we drift in and out of so many lives, we cannot be best friends with everyone. Our innermost circle can often stay the same for decades though, so really look at who you choose to do life with.
I am blessed to now be surrounded by people who support me, understand me, love me as I am, and want to grow in their journey too. And as a result, we are ALL growing leaps and bounds and living our lives more and more as we should.
Another thought on friends is this:
One up
One over
One under
What that means is this:
One up-someone who has been there/done that and generally a little older. They are great advisors and worth listening to!
One over-someone walking right with you, same general stage of the journey and same general goals in life
One below-someone whom you can be the One up to! You have enough experience to be able to offer valid guidance and understanding.
When we all have those 3 covered, life gets easier emotionally and more fulfilling very quickly.
So....who are you?
I am Jessica, Julie, Brittnee, Kristina, and Kelly. And that's a pretty damn good group if I do say so myself!
Comments
Post a Comment