Day 20: Butterfly Wings
but·ter·fly ef·fect
noun
(with
reference to chaos theory) the phenomenon whereby a minute localized
change in a complex system can have large effects elsewhere.
The butterfly effect
is an idea that says that a small change can make much bigger changes
happen. The idea started from weather prediction. ... The term butterfly effect comes from an analogy where a butterfly flaps its wings in Chicago and a tornado occurs in Tokyo.
So
we have all heard this phrase at some point. But we usually don't
focus on it with any intention whatsoever. Today, I want to bring your
attention to the butterfly wings YOU send flapping into the world.
So often, we feel that nothing we do truly matters. For most of us, we will never be famous for anything, known as a world changer, or be a Nobel Peace recipient.
Often I think that is what keeps us from watching our actions as much as say, a celebrity who is hounded by paparazzi on a day to day basis. We are more likely to act carelessly or callously without realizing it. We throw away hours a day with insignificance and feeling like we are wasting away our lives accomplishing nothing.
And that's where most of us would be dead wrong.
My life was forever changed by someone stepping out of their comfort zone at a MOPS moms day out and inviting me to go have a cup of coffee with her at Chick Fil A. Through her, I found Jen Hatmakers book "7", led to Rachel Hollis "Girl Wash Your Face" and now "Girl Stop Apologizing", but most importantly she led me to my life coach Kelly. Through Kelly, I found Dr. Shefali and Mel Robbins. Heck through this first person I was also by proxy introduced to The Body Keeps the Score, a fascinating and crazy illuminating psychology/psychiatry book full of decades of studies and methods that changed how I faced my trauma (along with Shefali and Mel).
One cup of coffee guys. One cup of coffee led to my utter and total life change. That cup of coffee helped me feel connected and engaged and helped keep my faith life on track. That cup of coffee led to a life long friendship where we support each other and call each other out on BS. That cup of coffee led to a bigger family, essentially. That cup of coffee led to tea times, movie nights, road trips, and a million areas of growth. One cup of coffee. One sentence. From a woman I had met twice, for less than 5 minutes each time at a MOPS meeting.
I think of what my life would have been now had she not asked me. I have no idea. I know I would still suck at boundaries. I would still be struggling with so much trauma from my childhood. I wouldn't be pursuing my callings, I don't think.
She, like Jess, and Celina in my early 20s, has utterly changed my life.
You want something that isn't a lasting relationship as an example? Something so small, it seems utterly insignificant?
I was in a photography class back in the day (which was a Tuesday-someone please get that reference...) for underwater photography. I shot differently then every single person in my class. No exception. I was the odd duck. But I LOVED it. I entered two of my photos into the student show/gallery which takes up the Fine Arts lobby, major hallways, and front foyer. One day, a woman I had never met, gave a note to the secretary to give to "the photographer who took this". It was simple. It was two sentences. "I love your work. I run a ballet company and would love to talk to you about photographing us."
She had NO way of knowing that I was about to give up on artistic photography and just stick with portraiture. She had no way of knowing my dad had died two weeks before I took those photos and that was how I faced that month, with my camera. She had no idea I was the odd duck in my class, or the youngest, or least experienced. She had no idea I was struggling with feeling like a "real" photographer at the time. But that yellow post it (which I still have) gave me the courage to keep going. It made me feel real. I can't say 1000% that I would have quit, but I know that I threw that idea away the day I got that post it. I went on to have my own studio, 6 years in a body of work, a specialized field in photography, I taught at that same college 5 years later. Fashion Photography.
The way I was an odd duck in that underwater class that made her contact me? I didn't shoot for a hidden meaning. I didn't shoot abstract, metaphoric, surreal things. I shot garments. Fabric. A woman who appeared to be dancing underwater while the gown she wore swirled around her and undulated in the water. I ended up getting to teach something I am so passionate about, mixing clothing and photography in a seamless art. And I loved every moment of it. I still gravitate to it in all things, like this image I found while writing this today:
I remember one person at a gas station, when I was having a hard mom day, looked at me and said "You are doing so well. Hang in there mama, you are setting an amazing example." They smiled and walked out. Y'all, I was two seconds away from bawling feeling like a failure. It gave me enough oomph to keep at my peaceful parenting that we were embracing. It gave me courage months later when we had store meltdowns. It is what inspires me to go to every mama or daddy I see in that same type of moment and tell them "hang in there, you got this!". And now I teach a free peaceful parenting class online.
Each of us will send a million wings into motion over our lifetime. We have a choice. We can send out grace, compassion, kindness, love, support, honesty, and creativity. Or we can send out anger, hate, frustration, unfair ideals, cruelty, depression, and anxieties. Either way, those wings will brush against someone.
We carry a part of God in us at all times, the Holy Spirit. The whisper on your heart to do something kind. To speak to the person in line who looks like they are about to cry. To sit next to the loner. To speak out against wrongs. To stand strong against bullies. To show Gods love, over and over again.
The best possible way to do this is to stay in the moment. Yesterdays hardships don't matter. Tomorrow is uncertain and isn't ours yet. Today though, this moment, this butterfly we send out... this we use. This we can use to lift up others wings, give them courage to fly, let them know it's ok to struggle, forgive the shortcomings, and so much more.
You will touch a million lives, either directly or indirectly, as your butterflies go out into the world. Send them out with love. For you, for others, for life and watch what happens...
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