Day 26: A life half satisfied-Conquering the "Gimmies"

My ten year old daughter recently got another LOL doll (if you do not have a girl child age 4-12 in your life, these are the new mini Cupie dolls of the 20-teens.  The fashion sense can be questionable occasionally, but they are generally harmless.  And they are glittery, so there's a plus right there!).  The biggest draw to them is this: they are a surprise every time.  You have no idea which one you'll get and you get to "unbox" or unwrap every little piece that comes with her.  Headband or hat, outfit, water bottle, etc.  She has opened a fair amount of these over the last few years, not gonna lie.  So I wasn't exactly shocked at her statement as her new doll was revealed "aww she's cute!  I really wish I had gotten this one instead though."  For some reason it REALLY hit me this time and I had to stop pulling out of the Target parking lot to say something.

 "Honey, why do you get them if you're always disappointed with the one you get? I have only heard you say twice that you got the one you wanted.  You are so excited opening them and then it seems to be a kind of let down after you see it isn't the one you really wanted.  Why aren't you happy with the one you got?"



Her reply hit me hard, "I still like her. I'm happy.  I just would have liked the other one better."


I realized that she is sooooo not the only one to have this mentality.  In fact, I think 90% of the time the kids and adults in our society have that reaction, "I mean this is fine, and it's better than what I had/or it's still good.  But ya know, I just would have loved something MORE."  Something always seems just out of reach.  As a society, the second we acquire what we are after...we immediately want the next or better version or style of what, just moments ago, we were so excited to get.  The thrill of "new" vanishes along with our money as we get it.

Have you ever had that nagging, dissatisfied feeling that something is just missing from your life? 
You get the directors cut blu ray of your favorite new movie and wish the extras had also included more costume and set design coverage.  You went out on a date that was fantastic, but it was too short.  Your weekend was calm, but over too soon.  You got new towels, but really wish you could have gotten the nicer ones.   You were praised at work, but of course only for one project out of four.

As adults, it seems, our culture is built on complaint.   Everyone is either bitching, quipping, or venting about all the things wrong or unsatisfactory in our lives.  It fills our television shows, our movies, our memes, our conversations. Even those blessed in big, beautiful houses have something to complain about regarding a finish.  Something they would have done differently.  It's always "almost perfect".

I am NO exception.  I try hard to have an intentional, mindful life.  Yet I am ALWAYS dreaming of the next vacation, or the next year when we can go all out a bit more for an event, or wishing I could have done just a bit more with my time or money or experiences.  Satisfaction doesn't often last too long in most cases before I'm chasing down the next dream, next accomplishment, next shirt I love, next outing with friends, or the next memory with the kids.  Now, I have managed to get pretty good about being aware and in the moment and finding joy even when things go wrong or change up or aren't the "best".  I've come a long way!  But... let me give you a recent example...



Last week, and then again two days ago,  I got to go on a child-free adventure to Hobby Lobby with my besties.  Yes, it was heaven.  Not gonna lie.  Hobby Lobby ranks up there in my top ten places, along with Disney and the beach.  It makes my crafty, inventive, Joanna Gaines-loving heart just sing.   What's better, I even got stuff this time!  I got a couple of fantastic things for home decor for Christmas, a gift for a beloved friend for Christmas, a gift for another friend, and a cup for me and two home items.  It was a blast. (and all on 50% off, score!) But even as I was thrilled with my finds and so excited to put them up (c'mon Halloween, be here already!  I love you, but I am also SO ready for Christmas!) I was simultaneously, just a teensy bit, disappointed.  I couldn't afford to get the few other things I really loved.  I was happy, but also frustrated and a bit down with my dang financial restrictions and the fact that I just can never seem to save enough up to REALLY do what I want to do.  What in the actual world of nonsense was that?!  I was there, checking out some fabulous finds, with my bestie and laughing, finishing up my first Starbucks in almost 2 months, WITHOUT the kiddos begging for stuff (they both inherited my crafters heart.  I blame my mom.  It's genetic.)....and I STILL wasn't fully happy.  Say what?!

This, ladies and gentlemen, was a problem. No, it IS a problem. I am sad to say that in general our society, myself firmly included, has a case of the Gimmies.

If you were not raised on the Berenstain Bears, let me give a short explanation.
The Bear family (Papa, Mama, Brother, Sister, and then the newest baby sister) live in a modest and cozy three level tree house.  The kids share a bunk bed bedroom.  The living room is quaint.  The are pretty outdoorsy in general.  And one day...the kids get the "gimmies".  They want everything.  And nothing is truly satisfying fully.  They can't stop asking for this, that, and the other thing.  (Parents, sound familiar?)  And what they have...not satisfying.  In fact, in some cases, it is cause for woe.  Long story summed up:  they learn to appreciate what they do have and to see the benefit in NOT indulging every whim.  They start to look at what is more important in their lives than the things.


I read this 20 years ago.  And I still remember each page vividly.  This and the organization one.  Go figure, little me was a fan of organization and self growth even then I guess!  Oh, and the dr. visit one.  That one always made me laugh.  But I digress.

As I sit here, writing on my Macbook pro (too bad it isn't the newer one with a bigger screen, but hey it is a darn good 3.5yr old computer!) and looking out my large, single pane, window at my 3/4 of an acre property...covered in dry weeds, some budding grass, and one not together trampoline, I cannot help feeling both blessed beyond measure and wistful that my property isn't green and landscaped.  That there are weeds and dirt instead of lawn and flowers.  That our property is fenced in chainlink, rather than beautiful white wood.  That my big barn/shed is janky instead of crisp and new.  Never mind that it is holding all my studio stuff and memories and box upon box of Christmas decorations for me.  Never mind that it is at least 30yrs old and still standing tall.  Darn it being a drab tan color instead of vibrant and perfect with aged barn wood instead of metal paneling.   How is our life such a duality now a days?



Where is the genuine gratitude for what we have WITHOUT wanting the next upgrade at the same time?  Make no mistake, I am GRATEFUL for our home.  Even when dealing with messed up pipes as we did a few months ago, I was saying thank you to God for our new home repetitively.  I still do.  Every single day.  I love my home!  But I'd also love to do more to it.  I would love to have grounds if you know what I mean.

We have (even recently) had major financial upheavals, we live paycheck to paycheck because of the debt we accrued while my husband was out of work for over a year when the oil fields shut down a few years ago.  We went from debt free (minus car payment and house payment) to over 50K in debt.  It's been a scary ride, no lie.  Every time we start to get ahead, something major happens.  Transmissions go out to the tune of $2200.  We have a plumbing issue that goes up to $1800.  My hubby is out of work for 3 weeks between rigs.  It's tenuous as best and alarming at worst when these things happen. But we have always been provided for in some way.  God never ceases to amaze me with his ability to provide, and my husband likewise astounds me with his utter willingness to simply work hard and do what was needed without complaint.  Something I am still working on.  But, grace.

Somehow we have lost as a society the ability to simply BE happy.  Without conditions, expectations, longings, future hopes, or exact situations.  To simply be thrilled with the same toys we got 6 months ago.  Our attention spans and our appreciations seem to shrink daily.

We don't just do this with physical things either!  Our relationships, the memories made, our talents, our jobs, our accomplishments...we are always on to the next thing the second we have accomplished or obtained the first desire.  We hardly ever pause to simply take it in, really. 

So what do we do?  How do we make like the Bear family, and regain balance? How do we rein in the spoiled child in all of us who always wants more?  Who always wants the next thing the second we have our last desire in our hands?  Who is never fully satisfied?

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure.  But I know I am going to start my journey to full gratitude and full appreciation for what I get and nothing tagged on to it by being aware.  Every time I catch myself once again wishing for more or better or faster or fancier...I am going to stop.  Literally stop and stand still in my tracks and say a giant thank you to my Father upstairs.  For as much as I can think of in that moment.  For the beautiful skies here.  For my healthy children.  For my amazing loving marriage.  For my deep friendships.  For my own salvation.  For my dishes I love at home.  For the property I will be blessed to work over the years.  For every breath of fresh air I take in.

And maybe, just maybe, I will learn to simply say "Thank you" and be utterly satisfied in what I am given and what I achieve.  Without conditions.  Without asking for more.  Without looking up and saying "thank you! I love it! Can I also have___?".  Without a hollow feeling once the goal is accomplished.